Because I am a human, person, I dislike things. Fishing is something I dislike along with Twilight and spiders. It's all part of being homosapien (note the word homosapien is not recognised by the firefox dictionary, it asked me if I meant homosexual, homosomethingelse or homosomthingicantpronounce, so odd.) it's in our nature.
One of the things I dislike most is when I die from not forwarding on chain mail... Actually I think dislike is too light a word, hate would be more accurate. I hate dying from not passing on chain mail! Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that this blog is going to be hilarious and witty. Well you're wrong! This is serious, dying because I didn't pass on chain mail really, fucking, sucks!
It all started when I was a naive teenager. I recieved a chain email with some kind of annoying poem and At the end, it said that if I passed it on to 7 people and make a wish it would come true within five days. I followed the rules, I send it to 7 people and didn't tell anyone what my wish was. Five days later, there was no elephant in my back yard! The chain mail lied to me! From that day on, I swore never to pass on chain mail again.
I've been dying from not passing on chain mail ever since. I remember the first time I died. I was murdered by a homicidal Minnie Mouse because I didn't forward a chain mail about some girl who forgot to do her homework. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was just chilling in my room when suddenly Minnie Mouse appeared out of no where and stabbed me to death with a spork. It was brutal.
I've died many times from keeping chain mail to myself, I started to get fed up with it. So I tried filtering my mail and not reading the chain mail, but I accidentally opened one, didn't pass it on and was killed by a dead girl who was killed by a giant wombat. That was a strange experience to say the least. And once, I just randomly dropped dead.
But there is just one little thing about chain mail I don't understand. If it doesn't grant my wishes or make people fall in love with me, then how can it kill me from not passing it on? I don't know probably something weird about the universe. So pass on the link for my blog to 678 people or a Malibu Barbie will come into your room at night and kill you!
August 25, 2010
August 2, 2010
The Snozberries taste like Snozberries.
Many people dream of living in a mansion, or some sort of island paradise. But mansions and island paradises are overrated. They get boring after a while. I want to live in the Wonka factory. Living there would be so amazing and so much fun. Every day would be an adventure.
There is that awesome room, where everything is made of candy. Everything is edible! I would skip around all day, eating candy. And because of some magical Wonka factory magic, that I am unable to explain, I would never, ever get fat! Amazing!
I would never be alone in the Wonka factory. The Oompa Lumpas live there! They would do all my chores for me, I'd never have to do the dishes again! I'd have so much fun with those little orange men, singing songs and chillin' together.
My bedroom, would be on a house boat that floats around on the chocolate river. After a hard day of adventure and amazement, I would go and chill out on the chocolate river boat. As long as I don't fall overboard, into the river, I'd be totally sweet there. Even if I did fall into the river, my Oompa Lumpa buddies would help me out.
There is something fun around every, single corner in the Wonka Factory. If I drink Fizzy Lifting Drink, I can float around with bubbles and do flips and stuff! I'd have to go through a magic door if I wanted to get any where annnnd I would be able to lick the walls with out people thinking I'm either really weird or on drugs. Plus I'd finally get to find out what snozberries would taste like.
If I ever wanted my friends to come over, I'd go and pick them up in my Wonkavator. It can go up or down, sideways, slantways, squareways, any way I want it to go. It can go any where, as long as I don't push the red button. I don't know why, but I suspect this button takes you to Jupiter. Actually, that reminds me... *Note to self: Buy some space gear, so I can go to Jupiter. He's pretty cool, he has a ring around him*
There is that awesome room, where everything is made of candy. Everything is edible! I would skip around all day, eating candy. And because of some magical Wonka factory magic, that I am unable to explain, I would never, ever get fat! Amazing!
I would never be alone in the Wonka factory. The Oompa Lumpas live there! They would do all my chores for me, I'd never have to do the dishes again! I'd have so much fun with those little orange men, singing songs and chillin' together.
My bedroom, would be on a house boat that floats around on the chocolate river. After a hard day of adventure and amazement, I would go and chill out on the chocolate river boat. As long as I don't fall overboard, into the river, I'd be totally sweet there. Even if I did fall into the river, my Oompa Lumpa buddies would help me out.
There is something fun around every, single corner in the Wonka Factory. If I drink Fizzy Lifting Drink, I can float around with bubbles and do flips and stuff! I'd have to go through a magic door if I wanted to get any where annnnd I would be able to lick the walls with out people thinking I'm either really weird or on drugs. Plus I'd finally get to find out what snozberries would taste like.
If I ever wanted my friends to come over, I'd go and pick them up in my Wonkavator. It can go up or down, sideways, slantways, squareways, any way I want it to go. It can go any where, as long as I don't push the red button. I don't know why, but I suspect this button takes you to Jupiter. Actually, that reminds me... *Note to self: Buy some space gear, so I can go to Jupiter. He's pretty cool, he has a ring around him*
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